Internet Ahead, Use Caution
18
There are some things I just won’t do. I don’t care how great ten of my friends swear skydiving is; I will never see the appeal in screaming hysterically as I plummet 10,000 feet from an aircraft that by all rights I should still be safely strapped into. The humiliation of putting on a pair of Depends under a jumpsuit is by itself deterrent enough without the thought of subjecting myself to a prolonged confrontation with my mortality. Soiled underwear, screaming like a girl and an unceremonious impact cloud of dust is not how I want to go out.
Similarly, I will not go for a ride in a hot air balloon. An obvious offshoot of the skydiving idea, hanging in a wicker basket while watching the sweet safety of the ground slowly transform itself into an immovable object that is just begging me to test the laws of physics against its hard surface, doesn’t inspire much enthusiasm. To make matters worse, I wouldn’t even be able to mitigate the danger with a parachute because I’d still have to deal with the whole adult diaper and 3 minutes of abject terror during freefall thing were I to end up using it.
Some of my refusals aren’t all about death. Some are born from lessons in embarrassment. As they say, there are some fates worse than death, although finding the originator of that saying is nigh impossible. Probably because immediately upon discovering cause to coin the term, they went into self exile in some remote wilderness and have yet to reemerge.
A few all too real personal examples come to mind here.
Like the time a waitress stood at our table and asked me several times if everything was ok, and when I failed to answer or even acknowledge her existence got huffy and demanded “Are you deaf or something”? To which my friends replied, “As a matter of fact, yes, he is.”
I learned what mortification really looks like that day.
No, I’m not totally deaf in case you’re wondering, just in one ear, and unless you’re in front of me or on my “good side”, chances are I won’t notice you talking unless I see you. Handy in some situations yes, like when attending the inlaw’s family reunion, but generally just an annoyance. Moral? Don’t act on an assumption out of irritation unless you’re 100% certain it’s justified.
Such embarrassment is all too easy with the internet. We’ve all seen the stories of Facebook and Myspace pages coming back to haunt people. School teachers who probably would have been better off not posting those Cancun vacation pics with the delinquent bikini top and beer bong. Or the police officer who thought using her patrol car as a background for a nude photo spread was a good idea. These are just examples of the obvious gaffes to avoid. Besides, unless your gym membership is well used and your mastery of photoshop complete, chances are the potential damage isn’t just to your professional image. Now you know why I’ll never wear shorts if there’s a camera around. Think toothpicks with dimples for knees.
For those who work online, the dangers are numerous and more subtle. It’s bad enough we have to constantly hustle and keep up with ten different projects at once, but we have to do it without allowing even innocent mistakes to torpedo our efforts. Like the time I sent a liberally slanted piece about Bush’s intelligence to a conservative client by accident. Doh! No more naming files 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, for me. From now on its descriptive titles and a quick overview before hitting send, period.
And if I ever have to go rounds with an Editor again, I’ll be sure to do my write-up in Word first. Making stupid spelling mistakes when berating someone else for their editing mistakes is just plain bad form and never leads to a good resolution. Editors really seem eager to jump on those types of things for some reason and will get maximum mileage out of a typo. Go figure.
I suppose there isn’t a great deal of advice to be taken from this post and for that I apologize. It began when I was reading the paper and noticing one mistake after another and foolishly forming a self righteous opinion of my own abilities, then realizing I have more than one big whopper of my own to keep in mind. I guess all I can offer with this one is, if you think something is a bad idea or might be a mistake, just don’t do it. That, and hide the evidence. Luckily for me, internet access is available even in the most remote wilderness should it become necessary.
I know what it feels like to make those “That was so stupid” mistakes. When I worked for the newspaper, I printed more than my fair share of corrections. In my own defense, a tight deadline environment seemed to make the computer have a mind of its own.
I tried to remember my own errors when the magazine editor I just wrote for published my article with someone else’s byline. My kind e-mail stated there was a mistake. No harm done. I still got my paycheck.
Humility. That’s the key.
Paul, I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. This time I found myself giggling and nodding while my cat cocked her head at me and gave me a look indicating that I’ve clearly lost my mind. Yep. Posting personal pics online if you’re trying to build an online reputation – not a good idea. Letting people know my political affiliations (since I have mostly liberal friends) – not a good idea. Writing emails when I’m angry – well actually, I think that is a good idea as long as I don’t have anyone’s email address in the “to” field and I don’t ever hit the “send”.
Paul, I’m with you. Skydiving and hot air balloons are never going to make it onto my bucket list! Never ever! You write beautifully and made me smile as I remembered my life’s most embarassing moments. I have two of them but know better than to share them here!
I was recently embarrassed by misspelling a client’s product. I always pride myself on trying to be error free and turn my nose up when I see others making mistakes. But I will have a little more compassion from now on.
Hi Paul,
Hot air ballooning I found to be very boring and wanted to go parachuting except decided to learn to fly a plane instead. Much more exciting.
I liked it when you said don’t act on assumptions. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at least I know I have. Taking a second or two before publishing can save a lot of problems later on especially if you are going to be critical.
Great post.
Like Susan, I’m not afraid and for instance love para sailing.
Agree with you completely about people embarrasing themselves online. Sometimes wonder if they don’t realize that anyone can see what they write? Ignorant and nasty comments are frequent. Some of them could even be taken to court for libel, but it doesn’t seem to occur to them that someone could press charges.
Paul, I am with you – no skydiving or hot air balloons for this chicken! Great idea from Sherryl about NOT having an email address in the “to” field when writing an angry email. Believe me I have had my share of mistakes in writing as we all have. Hey, even the New York Times has typos. I am very understanding of others’ mistakes unless I have good reason not to like them – then I enjoy poking fun at them in private :)
As far as posting inappropriate photos online – that is something I will never understand. It is called the “WORLD WIDE WEB” for a reason :)
Thanks for your enjoyable post.
@Terez
Deadlines add a whole new dimension the closer they get don’t they? I try to have work done early enough so I can let it sit for a day before going back to do a final proofing. Gives a little better perspective.
@Sherryl Perry
Thanks Sherry, I’m glad you enjoy them. I’m bad about the political opinions, but then again I’m independant so I get to annoy both sides of the aisle;)
@Keyuri Joshi
Thanks Keyuri, really appreciated. I have more as well, but I’ll wait till my death bed to air them out!
@Jeannette Paladino
Some mistakes are more forgivable than others right? At least no one is immune so we can all relate in some way.
@Susan Oakes
I love the idea of flying. It’s the possibility of the dropping that gets me. It’s one of my irrationalities. I’ll drive a car at 125 mph or catch a venemous snake by hand, but heights get me every time.
I’ve learned the hard way to control my asumptions, which were too closely tied to my temper. Lots of opportunity for egg on the face there! Thanks.
@Catarina Alexon
Having been active at one time in the field of the paranormal, I know ALL ABOUT how unpleasant people can be online. Nowadays I try to simply let things go when they get too heated.
Para sailing is the other one my spouse has mentioned trying on more than one occassion. I usually find something to do in the garage when that comes up.
@Julie Weishaar
Thank you Julie. Posting online reminds me of those folks you see at the stoplight. It’s as if because they are in their car, they think they are invisible. Our twelve year old loves to bring up the lady she saw, well, lets just say she must have had a nasal irritation;)
The wonderful way to overcome our obstacles is work through our challenges – even though I am not a balloonist or skydiver, I have tried bungee jumping..there is freedom in overcoming our fears.
We are human, making mistakes is something we all do. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about too much. As long as we learn from them.
I like Terez – humility works for me.
Paul,
You have such a refreshing writing style. This article brought a smile to my face and I found myself chuckling throughout.
Your reminder to take care as to what content and images we post on the internet is timely and essential. “Putting our best face forward” in business and in life does carry over to the internet.
Looking forward to exploring your site and coming back often.
Thanks again for the enjoyable read!
D’vorah
You are too funny! Loved the stories. I’m with you. I would have a heart attack from the terror of just standing in the plane opening waiting to jump if I even made it to that point without passing out. I don’t see how that is fun and not pure torture. My tolerance for wild adventure stops at the level of that Goofy ride at Magic Kingdom…that baby roller coaster in the toddler area that my kids loved at 3 years old and I screamed through.
You know, I was just thinking about those embarrassing moments that you hate to remember the other day. Sometimes I think of them all at once, and I actually blush. It’s usually when I am super tired…
I did realize the last time that I need to get over myself and allow that others have too. If someone can’t accept me and my blunders, well, is that really something I need to be concerned about (especially at 2am)?
@Mari_Lyn. I agree with you about dealing with challenges, when they are necessary. I just prefer the ones that involve remaining on the ground.
@Dvorah
Thanks, I’m happy you enjoyed it. Although how I appear to others is highly variable, (my own doing) I try to adhere to a policy of being able to stand behind whatever I throw out there, even if it means accepting I’m wro.. wr….not quite accurate at times..
@Melinda
Ahh, always nice to come across a kindred soul. We ever meet at Disney we can let our spouses take the kids on the rides while we hang out and tell eachother lies about how crazy we USED to be.
@Laura
At 2:00 am I don’t think I even care if I sent a client my shopping list instead of an assignment!
Hi! Just to clarify, I meant that I used to lay awake at night worrying about past blunders and get all embarrassed (instead of sleeping), rather than creating new errors to be blush about. :-)
I just commented on another blog. As I was editing the comment it unexpectedly posted mistakes and all. I find that I make more mistakes commenting on post than I do when I write them. Giving yourself time to step away helps.
My daughter just uploaded pictures she scanned of me on my honeymoon. I was not particularly pleased that bikini is now out for all to see.
That’s one of my big problems Julia. I have to remember to put more effort into my grammar and spelling these days even if it’s just a forum or blog comment.
I maintain tight control of any photos that are taken of me. They don’t get posted unless I can run them through photoshop and past my head onto someone elses body;)
Speaking of mistakes I once sent an email to someone and instead of writing Hello Morgan I wrote hello Moron. A good reminder to proof-read.
I also make a lot of mistakes tweeting and commenting.
LOL. I’ve written “Hello Moron” on purpose too many times to count;)